Not What You're Expecting

So this is a first in 39 weeks, there will be no weigh in. Last week was a hard week all around. It started out not too bad and I was expecting that I wouldn't get as much exercise in due to having the garage sale and being busy with that. Something else came up that prevented me from exercising all together. It's a bit too personal to share with y'all but let's just say it was a bit painful and I was very worried that exercise would make it worse. Things seem to be doing better but I'm going to ease back into exercise. Because I wasn't working out, it was very hard to stick with the eating part. I'm an all or nothing girl. When I get into something I like to do it all the way and put 100% into it. It's a lot harder to only put 50% into it and stick with that. So the reason I'm not going to weigh in is that I don't want to see a gain and let that get to me. I'd rather take a little break and when I'm able to get back into things fully start up again. This deadline I put on myself was getting to be a lot of pressure and really what does it matter? It's not like I needed to fit into a wedding dress or a swimming suit for a vacation. It was just a date that I set 10 months ago so that I had some accountability. I feel like even though I haven't hit my 68 lb. loss yet(and probably won't in time for next Mon.) that my 63 lb. loss is pretty darn close enough. I was struggling with feeling like I was coming up with all these excuses but then I had to tell myself that that I made it this far so I know that I can do it. It's not like I was 3 weeks into this thing and then threw in the towel. I lost 63 freakin' pounds and if this thing that was out of my control happened and I am unable to exercise that's not my fault. I think specific goals are great for setting your eyes on something and reaching for them but it's okay if you don't quite reach them. I feel like mine have served their purpose in motivating me. I really kicked it into high gear last week and the timeline was what motivated me so much. I so wish I could have been just that into it this week and also for next week. I'm sure I would have lost those last 5 pounds. I have been thinking that I was going to take a break anyway and try to lose a little more beyond my goal-somewhere in the 130s. I still intend to do all of that but I'm just going to take a little break. I'm not exactly sure how long. Maybe a week or two. It's something that I need to just let happen in it's own time. When I'm fully recovered from this physical thing and I've kinda gotten the eating splurging out of my system then I'll know. It'll get that itch to get back in it. For now I'll try to focus on what I have achieved. I can't wait to get back into my normal exercise routine though. With the holiday weekend and also having the garage sale again this week, things will be out of whack. The lack of exercise has been the hardest part. I've felt so guilty about that but I just didn't want to make anything worse than it was.

5/23 Weigh In Week 38

Loss for the week: 4 lbs.

Starting weight: 208.4 lbs
Current weight:145.0 lbs.
Total loss to date: 63.4 lbs.

Yeah baby! I rocked it this past week! I aimed for 3 hours of exercise each day but I actually didn't do any exercise on Saturday and Sunday due to the rain and the fact that my shoulders were sunburned so bad I didn't want to do any intense exercise(today there are blisters, ouch!). I'm going to try to get in as much exercise this coming week as well but I know I might not get 3 hrs. each day since I'm having a garage sale at my house so that will take up a lot of my time. It feels so great to be so close to my goal. I feel like I just might make it to my goal in time as long as my body cooperates. Along with the increased exercise I also aimed for an average of 1700 calories per day but since one of those days I ate at The Cheesecake Factory, the other days I was consuming 1350 calories so the weekly total would still be the same. It was a very busy week and weekend and we enjoyed a lot of eating out (still mostly staying within calorie limits) and then had a family gathering. I kinda lost myself on the deserts and splurged a lot on Sunday so because of that I'll aim for 1500 calories daily the rest of this week. I am already seeing the changes in my tummy that I was hoping for. It is slowly but surely getting smaller.

5/16 Weigh In Week 37

Loss for the week: 3.6 lbs.

Starting weight: 208.4 lbs
Current weight:149.0 lbs.
Total loss to date: 59.4 lbs.

Yay! I'm in the 140s! Last week I upped my calories to 1800 but also increased my workouts to 120 min. every day. I was also right about probably retaining water at last weeks weigh in because it was that time of the month. I had just been feeling bloated and in a funk. I'm feeling better now and ready to push through these last three weeks. When I originally set my goal I wanted to be at 140 by the end of May and I gave myself 39 weeks so even though May ends in the beginning of the 39th week I'll go that full week. That means my last weigh in will be on Monday June 6th. I will be ready for a break. I can't believe I'm 9 lbs. from my goal. It feels so much better to have less than 10 lbs. to go! This mornings workout was a 45 minute cycling class followed by a 5 mile run( in about 44 min, wohoo!) and then another 30 min. on the elliptical. I have a fun girls night out planned on Wednesday night to The Cheesecake Factory. I already have my meal planned out(and no it will not be healthy) so I changed my calories for the other six days of the week so that my weekly total calories will be the same. Mmmm, I can't wait! Of course my favorite slice of cheesecake happens to be the one with the highest calories in it... Adam's Peanut Butter Cup Fudge Ripple(over 1300 calories, yikes!). I'm not sure if I'll hit my goal in three weeks (I'd have to loss 3 lbs. each week for the next three weeks) but even if I'm very close that is still good in my mind. To finally be at a healthy weight and to have muscle definition that I didn't have before feels great!

5/9 Weigh In Week 36

Loss for the week: -1.6 lbs.

Starting weight: 208.4 lbs
Current weight:152.6 lbs.
Total loss to date: 55.8 lbs.

I'm going to try not to focus on that number. It was another holiday weekend and I again fell off that diet wagon. I enjoyed my Mother's Day a little too much. I've got a pretty good feeling all that and then some is just water weight because my scale tells me along with my body fat and muscle my water percentage and that was a lot higher than it normally is. I'll make that excuse to myself and I'm pretty sure by tomorrow or the next day it will be back down. I feel like the closer I come to the end, the harder it's getting to stick with it. Since I can almost smell freedom(from the diet) I keep stumbling more. Hopefully this week I can stick with it faithfully because we have nothing out of the ordinary going on. I'm not sure if I'll reach my goal by the end of May but even if I get pretty darn close that's awesome. I didn't feel like going to the Y this morning so I did my workouts at home. I did 45 min. on the elliptical, a 20 min. Jillian workout, and a 45 min. Jillian workout. I was busy all morning spring cleaning throughout the house. I'm not even close to being done and getting ready for my garage sale in a few weeks. I pretty much have to start from square one with clothes because most if not all of my clothes from the last time I lost weight are too big. It's nice on the one side to get new clothes but it's not so nice on the budget. Oh how I hope to be in the 140s next week!!! Looking back at my weigh in 4 weeks ago I was only 1 lb. heavier. Time for my body to start letting go of some more fat(preferably belly fat)! I've been at this 153/152/151 weight for a month now and it's getting old. Here's to a better week!

5/2 Weigh In Week 35

Loss for the week: 1.2 lbs.

Starting weight: 208.4 lbs
Current weight:151 lbs.
Total loss to date: 57.4 lbs.

Phew! I was happy to see a loss at all. I was feeling so good about my size 6 jeans that I fell of my diet and enjoyed lots of yummy food like chocolate chip cookies and dining out at places like Applebee's, The Olive Garden & Culvers. I was beginning to feel guilty at the end since I'm getting so close to my goal and didn't want to waste another week getting back to where I was. I have 11 lbs. to go and I just might be able to reach it in time. It won't be the end of the world if I don't. I'll just keep going. I'm also unsure of where I'll stop. The only area I'm concerned with is my tummy. That is my major trouble area and I carry all my extra weight there. I guess if these last 11 lbs. don't all come off my tummy I'm going to have to keep losing. Hopefully if I can still maintain a decent rate of loss I should be able to stick it out a few more weeks in June to get down a little more and burn off that belly fat. I'm not sure if I've ever posted my goals for after my weight loss but I'll be competing in a few triathlons this summer. I think it will be good to have something to focus on once I'm done dieting. I still plan on sticking with my same exercise routine but it won't have to be quite as rigid as it is now. If I need to skip some every now and then it'll be fine. I hope next week to be in the 140s!!!